HOW MY SUPERVISOR ROASTED ME

I had always promised to write about the fire I passed through under my supervisor while doing my degree project. Here we are, but, it’s been three years, and most of the anger is gone. This is mostly comedy, told by pictures in the Zikoko format. It’s something most people who did project in Ahmadu Bello University English Department, most especially the literature section, can relate to.

1, When I thought I will finish my project in three weeks

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We shall see.

2, When the list of supervisors came out and I got the dreaded SJ.

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I am not crying. It’s onion enter my eyes.

3, Mary Morah when she saw that she got one of the few kind lecturers in English Department.

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Eshe ghan

4, Me and my fellow supervisees under SJ.

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Help us oh Lord.

5, Then they selected me to be the first to take my work to him. “Kingsley, you know you are bold.”

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I am not bold again.

6, Met Herr Supervisor and he said, “I’m around but not available.”

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Chim o.

7, When he finally saw me and said “Your topic is overflogged.”

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I am not angry sir. That is how my face look like.

8, I finally dropped a topic I had been caressing for three years. Now what?

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9, Then I settled for Barack Obama’s autobiographies. But when I told my supervisor, he hadn’t read them.

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They were published last week sir.

10, Obama’s autobiographies do not represent the fulcrum of any shared literary conundrum of our elevated monologue.

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I said it. He hasn’t read the books.

11, But he was in a hurry so he asked me to submit a proposal on “Your Obama”. But my mates were in chapter two.

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No hurry in life.

12, There were more than three hundred corrections in a two-hundred word proposal

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I can’t take this

12, People who thought I will be the first to finish when they say, How project?

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We bless God.

14, I was still in chapter one when Tina came to me and said, “I don’t like this my conclusion. Please help me go through it.”

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OK ma.

15, When I saw my mates with their projects bound and ready for submission

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All fingers are not equal.

16, Half of my mates were at home and even forgot all about having done projects. But I and my fellow supervisees are in school, not knowing where to go, what to do and how to do it, nor who to run to. Then, one day, the supervisor started abusing one of us, “It’s like you didn’t do primary school.”

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I am not laughing. This is not my real face o.

17, Fathers Sunday caught me in school. I went to the chapel and saw my supervisor dancing

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God, shebi you are watching.

18, I sweated, toiled and tore. It began to look like I will not go NYSC with my mates. Then, my supervisor got bored and said “Go and bind your project.”

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Pardin. What did you say sir?

19, “Are you deaf? Go and bind your project!”

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Yes oh!

20, On my way to bind I saw my guy, under the same supervisor, still in chapter one

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Nothing to Say.

21, Next Sunday I went to church for Thanksgiving.

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I am very very grateful.

22, The devil when I wrote in the acknowledgement that my supervisor was like a father to me.

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He was a fada indeed.

Tweets to @Oke4chukwu

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19 thoughts on “HOW MY SUPERVISOR ROASTED ME

  1. Victoria

    I’m a ghost reader, but this definitely brought me out of hiding. Lmao! U will give zikoko pipu a run for their money o. Hilarious piece. I can so relate ehn. Mama (my supervisor) showed me small “weeen” in my undergrad days. I can still remember her saying “if you submit this project like this, I’m going to score you 50” ah! 50 bawo! Devu issa liar.
    5 years later, I’m in d process of writing my Master’s thesis and number 12 is my mantra. I no know who send me come do masters. Phew. It af well

    P.S, please, apply @ zikoko o. They sure would be better off with a “composer” like you.

    Like

  2. Class Rep

    Laughing so hard, for sure. I can relate to it, I suffered, had sleepless nights, Always chanting Islamic prayers whenever he calls for me and the biggest shocker was… just go and pay another School fees because I don’t think you are going to graduate with your mates.
    ME: why sir! You are just writing Nonsense, I can comprehend, I don’t seem to understand you @ all, Even my Small son writes better than you..
    ME: Am sorry Sir…*teary*
    After few months of prayers, Corrections and criticism.
    S.J : head nigger, Go and Bind but if I find anymore Mistakes, you are paying new school fees..Shegiya kwai.
    ME: *Dancing Azonto* I can’t even remember all the sleepless nights.. Even sign board I never read since that time..

    Like

    • HARD VOICES

      It wasn’t easy, really. Mine was as terrible, mostly because my people thought I knew book. They kept asking when are you coming home? I got tired of giving fake deadlines and just got a job in Zaria. I was tired of calling home for money. I was tired of everything. I just wanted to be left alone, but Herr Supervisor won’t let me.
      When junior students saw me and ask, Still on your project, I lied, It’s somebody project o. Oh, somebody named Kingsley? Er, actually, I loaned the person my name.
      You are fortunate he didn’t find any errors when you bound. Mine, he found one error and told me to start afresh. I refused to leave the office, I kept laughing like an idiot. He hissed, said I will be penalised. But at the stage, I didn’t care. No be only penalty, na relegation dey go…

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  3. Phait

    I love love this…….the pictures got me….during my time my supervisor wanted to suck breasts oooooo assin ehn I will just be backing off then he will say let me touch it small nau….and I have heard tales about him bringing female students back for refusing to give boobi to suck……you need to see the prayers and fasting

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Adewoyin Joseph

    Go and bind your project and you were still waiting around for a repeat? What is that? Village witches in your ear drum?

    I think most supervisors know the appreciation area is just untrue, how can you be like a father to me and be troubling me upandan?!

    LOL. You killed me Kingsley! Just when I got a touch and resurrected, Phait’s boobs-sucking demon cum supervisor knocked me out again. As if supervising project is not enough, they’ll still overdo and want to oversee brezz!

    Like

    • Phait

      My dear….gaining admission is one thing…..escaping missing scores is another demon then praying against worst supervisors……mine was better sef compare to some of my friends who only see the supervisor every two weeks and a chapter must not be less than 10 pages or the one that started attending the man’s church by force

      Like

      • HARD VOICES

        Joe, it’s so so shameful, this our university tishas and their disgusting stamina. Imagine, breasts! Although when I first saw Phait, her boobs dominated my eye sight. But this is not condoning his insane demand because me, one and half year since I met Phait, I never for once asked to touch anything, but her super-vicer wanted to suck. I am a gentleman, the vicer is a villain. The difference is too clear

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  5. Deewhy

    Hahaha. I can totally relate. Godz grace on u bro. I wrote one to four n was feeling like a superstar until my supervisor was given the boot and I had to begin AFRESH! By then those who were saying”ah you’re so fast Mehn I was I was you” were now saying “doh. It is well. You might be able finish with us. Just try.”

    Like

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