We are each our own devil and make this world our hell.- Oscar Wilde

A lot, as usual, is going on in Nigeria right now. The president’s wife Aisha Buhari is in the middle of the Haliburton scandal to which a suspicious passport materialises showing that, indeed there are two Aisha Buharis. And the indicted Aisha Buhari is not the president’s wife. OK. A sitting governor’s personal bank account has been frozen by the EFCC. OK. The president has continued with his northern agenda by appointing a northerner as inspector general of police, bypassing seventeen more senior, mostly southern, officers. OK. Ten reps went to the US for a programme and two or three succeeded in trying to grab an ass. OK. The avengers, the herdsmen and even the technically defeated Boko Haram are still in the news. OK sir. Sigh. I can sustain daily ramblings in this blog, if I choose. Nigeria is equal to the drama. But I won’t ramble daily. I have my life to live, and my mother loves me.

I might ramble over the above incidence someday, but today I wish to look at an insignificant happening which, when looked at closely, is not so insignificant. It is, as Achebe put it, a small something which, if not treated might spoil something.

Over the last few months, as Buhari’s hardministration bites harder, there has been a rise in the decibel of voices wishing, and indeed, calling for the president’s death. “He’ll soon die,” they will say, “just be watching.”  Or, “He’s a sickly old man, he won’t last long.” Etc. Whenever I hear this I usually shake my head sardonically, or smile ruefully, or say It’s unfair to say such thing for which I sometimes get a tongue lashing or a pitiable look, coloured with proportionate arrogance.

Today, I’ve decided to write about this issue; my writing won’t make any difference, but I will have, by writing, at least, archived this opinion in the world wide web, for posterity (if any?), and for, as my blog old motto says, God and country. Should people pray for the president’s death? No. Because, well, I have few points.

1, It’s cowardly. Very. Admittedly, Buhari hasn’t faired well. In fact, he’s been effortlessly woeful. But asking for the president’s death is a shortcut, narrow-minded. Nigeria is run by an institution of legislature, the judiciary and the executive. Buhari heads the executive. One arm. There are 360 representatives and 109 senators put there to check Buhari. There are hundreds of courts as well. Now, whatever evil Buhari is committing can be addressed by the system that appointed him. Buhari can be impeached, called to order or overruled by the legislature/judiciary. Are they going to do that? Never. Can they do that? I don’t think so. Now, this is a failure of the system. The system is corrupted, hopeless and regressive. Calling for Buhari’s death is not just cowardice, it’s borne out of laziness that comes naturally to us Nigerians. Yeah, rather than pursue the constitutional channels and challenge Buhari and hold him accountable, stand up to him, we take the cheap way out and ask God to kill him.

2, It’s not just Buhari. The entire squad of this administration were picked out from somewhere in the middle of a mortar of rotten palm fruits. Look at them, Fashola the overhyped dude who, among many atrocities, spent 78 million naira on a website; Amaechi, the thug who emptied Rivers State treasury and who has vowed that Rivers people would never know peace; Audu Ogbeh, the confused minister of agriculture who wants to import Brazilian grass for cows; Lai Mohammed, well, never mind; Ngige who wants to withdraw licenses from private firms for downsizing; Fayemi, who impoverished rural Ekiti; the so-called mama Taraba who’s an outright illiterate; Dalung, the comedian; Kemi, the phonetician etc. Please, my people, how would Buhari move Nigeria forward with this pipu? Even Churchill will underperform with this troop. The argument for them might be that they are Buhari’s responsibility, what was he thinking! What were the senate thinking when they approved this embarrassing list of ministers? The blame can be shared, equitably. But the correction is not one-dimensional, killing Buhari. One solution is that Buhari could fire them, or just pray that the entire ministers die. For all we know, Buhari’s death might not be the end of Amaechi and co-rots. Osibanjo might say, Why not if not, and continue with them. And even sacking them is not a foolproof to success. They would have to be replaced, by Nigerians, by APC Nigerians. Sigh.

Pass me the hankie.

3, It’s not justifiable. Asking for Buhari’s death cannot be justified in any radar. Nothing justifies the killing of the president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. I just paraphrased Tom Lennox, a character in the television series 24, season six when a cabal in White House plans to assassinate the US president over policy disharmony. Yeah, nothing justifies the killing of the president. Buhari, he’s the president and symbol of Nigeria sovereignty. He’s carrying the mandate of the electorates. It’s a covenant. If the people had made a mistake, it’s only justifiable that they suffer for it. If God comes and kills Buhari just one year after the error of electing him then we won’t learn our lesson. We’ll take our power to vote for granted, knowing that we can always ask God to kill whoever we sentimentally or foolishly voted for. Things aren’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t be that easy. God is nobody’s boy boy.

People sometimes point at Abacha to justify asking for Buhari’s head. But they are not the same thing, or are you that dumb? Buhari has the senate, the House of Representatives, a free press, the courts, “imminent” Nigerians, the opposition, labour, civil society groups, churches etc to hold Buhari accountable. Abacha didn’t, and ensured this by killing them off. Buhari is misruling Nigeria, Abacha was destroying Nigeria. If all the institutions and organizations set up to check Buhari will not do their job, then they are cowards, evil and dangerous. It is not because Buhari is an Abacha. And if you insist on equating Buhari with Abacha, remember that Abacha was there for five years. So your prayer is four years premature.

4, Buhari might turn out to be the messiah we need. I doubt it, but it might happen. If the dry bones in Ezekiel chapter 37 can rise, why not the dry bones from Daura?

5, It Won’t Happen. Praying for someone’s death is the easiest thing on earth, at least for unimaginative fellows. How many times have people wished for their supervisor, boss, rival, husband, mother-in-law, landlord, police officer, neighbour etc’s death? How many times? Every single second of the day! How many have ended up dying? Not a ton. For all you know, someone, somewhere, right now, is praying for you to fall down and die. Yes. Will that kill you? I don’t know (this is a blog, not a prophetic prayer house, don’t ask me). My point is, this life is full of so many bullshit. And the angel of death cannot be led by the leash. Or there will be no one left on earth before the year 2020.

Take Lai Mohammed for instance. With his peculiar character people must have been wishing him death since 1759, but look at him. He’s been waxing strong, in body, in health and propaganda. Save your breath.

6, It’s an amoral, immoral and malicious thing to do. Culturally, religiously, psychologically, psychiatrically, wishing people death is reserved to the lowest rungs of negativity. This life is an enigma, and nothing is more puzzling like death. People die everyday, including the good and the bad. It’s not a judgement of who is worse, and its unpredictability is even with a touch of danger. Because when you point a finger at one, asking God to assassinate him, four fingers are pointed against you.

Finally, It’s dangerous. People who criticise Buhari are jailed, ask Femi Kayode and Olisa Metuh; people who disobey the president are persecuted, ask Saraki and Ekweremadu; people who challenge Buhari are killed, ask Biafra agitators and Shiite Islamic sect. If Buhari can fuck up (pardon my Spanish) “imminent” Nigerians like the above, including the third in command, what do you think he would do to you, a common mosquito like you, singing murder in his ear–his brand new ear! Bro, mind yourself. Don’t let the devil use you!


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