EPL Preview: Chelsea to Win, Question Marks for Mourinho, Man City, Arsenal

 

The last time I had anything to do with football review was in March 2015. being a while, you can say that again. Let’s get to business.

Saturday, 15 Oct., 2016

Chelsea V Leicester City, 12.30PM

This lunchtime match is set to produce mouth-watering sparks, a must-watch and if it plays out like their EFL cup match of last month then it is worth missing lunch for. Shame this one cannot go for 120 minutes. Leicester are learning that premiership hates fairytale, although Chelsea ain’t bourgeoning people I expect this to be another big match that will show Leicester that their miracle ended in May. Costa to score.

Final Score 3:1 #CheLei

Arsenal V Swansea, 3.00PM

The last two times this Welsh club came to the Emirates they left with a whopping six-points sauce. Arsenal usually finds it difficult handling the deep-seating fluid game of Swansea. Now they have a new coach in Bob Bradley and they should get something out of this. Arsenal are in descending form, beat Chelsea 3-0 (hot), beat Basel 2-0 (warm), beat Burnley 1-0 (lukewarm). A cold (draw) will complete this circle. And remember Fabiansky usually becomes invisible against his former employers. I see a score draw, I hope I’m wrong.

Final Score 2-2 #ArsSwa

ozil-hard-voices

Bournemouth V Hull, 3.00Pm

No one in the Milky Way cares about this match, except you nairabetters. Ok, ok, the match will be played for ninety minutes that I am sure. Uhm, er, I think the home side will win. Don’t bet on it.

Final score 2-1 #BouHul

Man City V Everton, 3.00PM

Now the league has begun for Guardiola; premiership, he has seen, is no expressway to be sped through. There are bumps and potholes. A reality check from Spurs last week might see a change of approach from the blue side of Manchester still lacking the magic wand of De Bruyne. Everton’s brilliant start under Koeman will face its stiffest test yet. It will be entertaining but Aguero’s genius might prove the slight difference. A cracker, this one.

Final Score 3-2 #MciEve

Stock V Sunderland, 3.00PM

The top of the table battle, if you turn the table upside side, sees perennial relegation battlers Sunderland visit the Britannia.  Coached by David Moyes (Ferguson’s kinsman and chosen one), who has being dismissed as a small club coach and who is proving that even that is a generous praise, Sunderland would be happy with a draw. But Stock who took an undeserved point in Old Trafford a fortnight ago should be too motivated for shared spoils.

Final Score 2-1 #StoSun

moyes-hard-voices

West Brom V Tottenham, 3.00PM

West Brom are nineth in the table with nine points after seven games, not bad for them but they are going to answer the call when Pochettino’s brigade stands at the door and knocks. Dele Alli, Sun and co will have a lot of questions for Tony Pulis’ boys when the door is opened. I doubt if the West Midlands club can proffer all the answers for them. They will lose this and it doesn’t make them bad, not that a win will make Spurs finish above Arsenal in May.

Final Score 1-3 #WbaTot

Crystal Palace V West Ham, 5.30PM

West Ham are having a nightmare. Their worst start in the league in thirty years is set for an extension in this London derby. The brilliance of Payet and Mitchail Antonio’s big head will still fall short. Slaven Bilik’s poor form won’t continue forever but will it end in Selhurst Park on saturday? The safest bet is for a Palace win but I have a hunch West Ham will get something from this one.

Final Score 3-3, #CryWha

 Sunday, 16, Oct., 2016

Middlesborough V Watford, 1.30PM

A one-all draw in West Ham last week is a fair result and seeing how Watford almost lost at home last match this battle seems to favour the Boro. Although Watford haven’t found their form since they earn a season highlight victory over Man Utd, I think one of Deeney, Ighalo and Isaac Success (they say he is injured, lies) should trouble Aitor Karanka’s backline.

Final Score 1-1 #MidWat

Southampton V Burnley, 4.00PM

I don’t see Burnley getting anything from this one, period (not in Donald trump’s voice.

Final Score 3-0 #SouBun

Monday, 17 Oct., 2016

Liverpool V Man Utd, 7.45PM

It feels like Christmas for Man Utd foes as pundits rule them out of top four finish. Mourinho’s haters should be giddy with joy. So much have been said about Klop’s chemistry with his player, the hugs, the hand holding and all. They have beaten all the big teams this season, that is if you count Leicester and Chelsea as big teams, and their 4-3 victory at the emirates is a preseason match according to the epistle Wenger wrote to the Inefficians. Mourinho and Pogba are yet to convince but Mourinho is a tactician and should out-fox Klop in this one. It doesn’t look llike it but with Mourinho most surprises are possible. Fancy Rooney with another false assist.

Final Score 1-2 #LivMun

henderson-liverpool

A CONVERSATION IN BED

‘I keep wondering,’ Chuks says. He is lying on Folu’s bed, a careless leg her bare lap. They have just had a lengthy passionate release and he feels great, and loquacious. ‘What are you wondering? About sleeping with you?’

‘Yes. After the beautiful speech you gave me the other day.’

She smirks. ‘I wasn’t ready then.’

‘That handsome guy on the wall of the sitting room. He’s your boyfriend?’ This is a question, served in a bowl of accusation.

‘He was.’

‘He was your boyfriend?’

‘He was my fiancé. He still thinks he is.’ She sighs.

‘What happened?’

‘He’s not man enough. He’s been cheating on me.’

‘But most men cheat. I mean cheating makes a man a man. The guy’s man enough. Maybe a bad man, a coward, a heartbreaker et cetra but he’s certainly man enough.’

‘You don’t understand,’ she says.

‘Hmmm.’ He caresses her natural hair. ‘Why don’t you go for dreadlocks?’

‘Do you like it?’

‘I love it.’

‘Ok.’

Silence.

‘You are such a violent lover,’ she commends.

‘You are using me,’ he says.

‘For what? To hit back at my fiancé? Hell no. I am just enjoying myself…. I am not thinking about him.’

‘But I am. If someone sleeps with my fiancée I won’t be covered with love and affection for him.’

‘But you are free to cheat on your fiancée?’

‘I don’t have a fiancée.’

‘Your partner.’

‘I don’t have.’

‘What if you have?’

‘I don’t know.’

She sighs. ‘Women are always the ones upholding the sanctity of any relationship. When men cheat it’s casual, it’s because she ties wrapper, she nags, she isn’t romantic; she is this, that and whatnot. People always go to the woman in search of reasons why the man cheats. But when a woman cheats, heaven falls.’

‘You are cheating, and heaven is standing.’ He yawns. He is suddenly tired; conversations he is not sure of winning tire him, bore him, and Folu is ready for this. She has been memorising, he is sure. He glances at her, she is staring at him; he tries to return the eye-fire but looks away when he catches something like hurt in her eyes. ‘We’ll be late for work today?’ He is trying to change the topic.

‘Today is Saturday.’

He grunts. He searches the atmosphere for a new topic. His head is not cooperating. ‘I am a sucker for dreadlocks,’ he says.

‘I know.’

‘Make it for me.’

She smiles. ‘You men are a funny creature. I thought you had sympathy for my ex-fiancé. Now I see, it’s every man to his manhood.’

‘It is you women that are funny,’ Chuks says harshly. ‘Just a moment ago he is fiancé, now he is ex. In less than one minute. Mehn, you people are just something else.’ He even manages to shrug his shoulders lying the way he lay.

She laughs, slapping him on the chest. ‘You are such a confused piece of work.’

‘Nonsense.’ He fumes. She laughs louder.

Tweets to @Oke4chukwu

This is my novel in progress. More than two years now and it is looking like I am going to remain on it till I am carried away with ‘sweet by and by’ playing in the background. Sigh, God, epp me, Sir.

a-conversation-in-bed

Tweets to @OKe4chukwu