The August Lover

Last August, I published The August Meeting; the August before, it was The August Proposal. Now, this.


The rain fell on the roof with steel, impatience and rage. For three hours the rain fell with torrents of urgency and a whiff of destruction. It was Saturday; Yvonne should be sleeping like she normally did during weekend rainfalls. But it wasn’t a normal Saturday for her, it was still less than a week since Nosa sent her that cruel break-up text. Her sleep was full of breakups, heartbreak and Nosa. So she chose to remain awake and sleep only when she had to.

She had her nose on a burglary railing on the window watching as the water bashed the roofs, houses and the earth, covered the street with thick brown water, watching as the water level continued its ambitious rise.

The rain, like everything she came across or happened to her these days, reminded her of Nosa. No matter how hard and ambitious the rain fell, it would stop, and the earth would get rid of the water within hours. That was what it felt like loving a dog like Nosa. Yes, he was a dog, must be a dog, only a dog could send you this breakup message: “See, I never loved you. I tried my best but you are not just the one for me. I feel wasted having spent this past one and half year with you. Good luck.” It took Yvonne two days of tears and starvation and torture and nightmares to make sense of this. She had now come to terms with the message but

It took Yvonne two days of tears and starvation and torture and nightmares to make sense of this. She had now come to terms with the message but her ego was still in shreds: like a broken mirror, you cannot possibly gather the whole pieces and patch them back to shape; you might try but the scars remain, forever.

Yvonne left the window and walked the short passage, past the curtain into her room. The room was in semi-darkness but her legs, already used to the room, found their way. She sat down on the bed. The bed reminded her of Nosa; he had been on this bed with her, by her, under her, on top of her, inside her. She stood up. She reached for her phone on the fridge. This, too, reminded her of Nosa; she had spoken to him with this phone, teased him, laughed with him, shouted at him, texted him, cursed him; loved him. She dropped the phone and walked back to the window to watch the rain.

This time, the rain fell from her eyes as well. She bit her lips and fought the rain from within but it was futile; it was like trying to stop a falling tree by wedging its shadow. She was so consumed with the tears that she didn’t hear the knock on the door. She only became conscious of her environment when she heard the door opening. She quickly damped her eyes with the sleeves of her gown and made a sharp work of arranging her dishevelled braids. It must be one of her close neighbours, Uju or Joyce, checking on her. She was grateful it was dark and they wouldn’t tell she had been crying. She entered the room.

The first thing she noticed was that the visitor wasn’t Joyce or Uju, wasn’t even someone she knew. Second was his height and the feeling of dominance and masculinity around him. Now she wished there was enough light to look, to study and to explore the hunk of flesh before her. Then he spoke and his voice vibrated in the room and hung on the air. It was a bold, musical, baritone that soothed the heart and knocked the knees. “It’s raining heavily and I thought I could come shelter here for a while,” he said. She said nothing. “Silence, consent?” he added.

Welcome, she made to say but the lump in her throat. She stealthily cleared her throat. “Sit down.” She turned away, walked rather briskly to through the passage to the kitchen. She came back to the room with a battery lamp that she placed on the fridge. He was still standing. She looked at his face. V-shaped, fair, soft lips, arresting eyes, thin sideboards and rich beards. She looked away, shy. She sat on the bed. “I’m Yvonne.”

“You are beautiful.”

Thank you, but she failed to say it aloud. Electricity on spine.

“I’m Barry,” he said.

“Nice name.” She stole a look at his lips, those lips. Shivers.

“It’s not actually my name. It’s short for barrister.”

“You’re a lawyer?” She was impressed. She looked at his chest, what the tight polo he was wearing did to his chest did a lot to her stomach.

“I’m not a lawyer. I left the university in my third year.”

“You’re a soldier then.”

He smiled. Amber white teeth. “Why should I be a soldier?”

“You have been standing there for ever.”

He chuckled. Music. “You are a beautiful liar.”

Electricity on spine. Butterflies in the stomach. “What’s your real name?” she said.

“Call me Barry.”

“Why did you leave the university.”

“I didn’t leave. I was taken away.”

“How? By whom?”

“A car hit me.”

Needle in the heart. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago.”

“How old are you?” She knew. He was twenty-nine or thirty, three or four years older than she.

“You know my age.” He winked. “You have beer?” he shifted his gaze to the fridge.

“Erm… No… Er… My boyfriend–ex-boyfriend–drank the last one.” Trembling voice.

“You are single then?”

She said a happy yes.

“Shame. He doesn’t know what he’s lost.”

“He’s a fool.” She rose to her feet. “Let me serve you Fayrouz.” She opened the fridge. Weakness in the knees. Fire in the stomach.

“Don’t worry. The weather is too cold for that.” He placed a warm palm on her wrist, as though to affirm the point. Tiny flood of current ran through her body.

“Why don’t you sit down?” She pointed to the only chair in the room. He led her to the bed and they sat down. The feel of his body cured a large amount of her heartache.

The rain hammered on the roof. Her heart hammered on her chest.

“Where were you heading to before the rain began?”

“The Mortuary.”

To do what? But she didn’t ask out. She was just grateful to have him here. Her bra straps were burning her shoulders.

Silence in the room, storm outside.

“As teenagers, we used to tag this kind of rain ‘weather for two’,” she said.

“As adults?”

“We place our head on his lap,” and she placed her head on his lap. He placed that warm palm on her neck and she sighed with excitement, then he caressed down her collar and up the mould of her breast, and she died a little.

Yvonne always said that everyone has a human machine in them, separated from them but a part of them. This machine takes over when there are important jobs needed to be done but the body is lacking in requisite energy; the spare body takes over the job while the body was subconsciously detached, do the jobs and let the normal body take the glory. Yvonne believed this, but she never really experienced it, before today.

Today, Barry’s touch, like the tap of a switch started the madness. Her body got crushed by sensations and pleasure, gave way and her machine body took over. It was her second body which tore off her clothes and attacked him and got entangled in a match of passion, sweat and joy. Her real body just lay back and suck the orgasmic delight.

Rain fell on the earth. Hurricane happened on the bed.

“You are sent from heaven,” she said after the insane pleasure and she was now in possession of her body.

“I was passing by, saw your outrageous beauty and I couldn’t resist having you.” He was dressing up.

“Why don’t you stay some more.” Her voice shook with untamed desire.

“It’s no longer raining. I need to get home.”

“You said you were going to the mortuary.”

“I live there.”

Yvonne was confused. “You work in a mortuary?”

He said nothing, wearing his jeans and polo silently. Done dressing, he said: “I live there. It’s my home.”

She searched his face. He was teasing. Was he?

“How can you, a barrister, work in a mortuary?” She just couldn’t bring herself to say he lived there.

“I am not a barrister,” he said. “I was hit with a car in my third year.”

“Why didn’t you continue when you left the hospital?”

“I didn’t leave the hospital. I died.”

The walls began to close in on her; her world took a sharp twist 180 degrees towards nowhere. She fought to repossess her voice. “You ar-are a-a d-dead person?”

He smiled, blew her a kiss, turned and walked through the door without opening it, just past through it as though the door was a transparent nothingness. He was gone from her, for good. An emptiness filled her, consumed her and mocked her. She was out of herself, floating in her emptiness, shock and disbelief. Then reality hit her and she fell on its mat of rude consciousness. She began to scream.

Tweets to @Oke4chukwu

Mammy water


Interview With Sagar Onwe: The Possibilities of Programming are Limitless

Having gone to Lagos, Abuja and elsewhere in my interviews, I came home to Enugu and had a rich conversation with Sagar. Sagar or Sugar, as his babies call him, is a software programmer, a cryptocurrency monger; he is generally a tech guy, lord of gizmos and expert of gadgets. So we sat down and chatted about everything, from coding to bitcoin to start-ups to thirty billions. The interview is fresh despite the delay in publishing it occasioned by the passing away of my friend, brother and mentor.


Hard Voices: I first spoke to you about this interview in December I think. And we are just having it now, seven months later. What has changed between you that I wanted to interview in December and this you I am interviewing right now?

Sagar: Alot man. Ranging from how I see the world, to career and relationships. Let’s say I am like an evolving universe. I have advanced my programming skills and better my view of how I see others.

Hard Voices: You studied software engineering. Software engineering in Nigeria. This is a great thing but also a painful one. Countless schools should be offering the course.

Sagar: Yes, but honestly our institutions have refused to move further with their never changing and rigid curriculum. I use to teach some computer science students in Esut. And you will be marveled at what lecturers teach these students. When they finally graduate, they become unemployable.

Hard Voices: I can imagine what they teach them. Now if we can’t even teach computer science which is more of hardware, any hope for us in the software angle like coding and programming?

Sagar: You got it a little bit wrong. A computer scientist should rightly be better than a software engineer. If taught rightly. Check the curriculum of India and UK…

Hard Voices: But that is not what is obtainable here. I know a department of Computer science which does more mathematics as it was created from the department of mathematics and mathematics lecturer just swapped to teaching it.

Sagar: Here in Nigeria?

Hard Voices:  Yes.

Sagar: You see that’s the problem. Our educational separation of concern is backwards

Hard Voices: I tried learning coding. CSS, HTML and the rest. They bored the hell out of me, I gave up. Everyone cannot be a coder. Not my calling. But for people who aspire to code, what would you advise them? Is there a short-cut?

Sagar: Hahahahahaha. To everything there is that’s worth doing, shortcuts are off limit. My advice though. Go for what you want no matter how long it takes. It’s never easy even with the passion because that’s what keeps you going. But when I have cooled off and come back to try it again.

It eventually works. Another tip. The computer is never wrong but you the programmer. So give it time, it will eventually sink. It was not easy for me as well and still not. I have seen days my code won’t work, for five days or more, and I will want to break my system into pieces.

Hard Voice: I could get grey hair before I get a grasp of it. Now that you mention coding, may I ask, is that one app you or your group of developers have developed or working to develop?

Sagar: Yes we have. For a company in Abuja. We worked on the windows mobile version. Then we did a portal for a church in Abuja but they have not renewed subscription for the year. Currently we are working on something big. An attendance management system, We have done some other personal projects but the ones I mentioned here are majors.

Hard Voices: Great, real great. Now, you are the number one advocate of cryptocurrency like bitcoin etc that I know on social media. How would you explain cryptocurrency to a dummy? I am not saying I am a dummy but we are a legion here. You can never tell.

Sagar: Hehehehe. Ok, first, there is a perception which is unique to everybody. I will always tell anyone who wants to know about cryptocurrencies to go Google it because I might just give you an idea that might make you believe it’s not important. But to answer your question.

In a nutshell, CryptoCurrency simple means Internet money or digital money. It runs on the Internet network and allows millions of money transfer across the Internet without a third-party which is the bank within seconds or minutes.

It makes transaction easy and fast without going through protocols of the bank like limit in daily and international transactions. It’s a very large topic which I believe should be a topic for another day. Nevertheless if one wants to know why CryptoCurrency will take over the world. Watch silver and gold on YouTube channel. They have a series of talk about money and it’s history. It’s a good start.

Hard Voices: Is Cryptocurrency the ultimate? Or do we expect anything after it?

Sagar: Well, I can’t predict the future as regards to expecting another but one thing is certain, CryptoCurrency is going to take over the world.

Hard Voices: On Facebook, the other day, I referred, jokingly, to my neighbour whose heart might have been broken and I said I suspected you and two other of my guys as the breaker. Were you surprised that I saw you as a man who might break a lady’s heart?

Sagar: Hahahahaha. Most people think that too until you get to really know me. By knowing me, I mean spend time with me then you’d think otherwise. As my zodiac sign happens to be libra. I am 80% what that sign stands for.

Hard Voices: Beyond zodiac signs, is there anything in you that you think make people, from afar, think of you as the kind of man who might break hearts.

Sagar: I love hanging out with cute ladies even though we might not have anything intimate. So people tend to assume a lot of things based on that.

Hard Voices: You live and work in Enugu. Must one be in Lagos to succeed as a start-up?

Sagar: No, no, no. It’s a big no. I for one don’t believe in that. Though it gets really hard here to gain grounds but in no time you will start getting those big jobs that usually go to Lagos on bases of professionalism. I also hail from Enugu. Remember that saying about charity beginning from home?

Hard Voices: Is saying that charity begins from home a way of saying you don’t see your long-term future here?

Sagar: I do. No matter how big we get tomorrow, Enugu will always be our headquarters.

Hard Voices: You also said. ‘it gets really hard to gain grounds’. Have you faced any disadvantage of any sort because you do not live in Lagos?

Sagar: Yes. Most times investors believe that the best hands stay in Lagos. You have to do some convincing.

Hard Voices: If not coding, what art would you have taken to? Photography, like your friend Neec, or writing, like the pretender interviewing you?

Sagar:  I am a man who almost everything about creativity turns on. And I tell you there’s nothing that I’d put my heart to that I can’t learn. I have a long list of other artistic things I’d like to do other than programming. I love music, dancing, street photography, sound engineering, writing etc majorly things that gets me less bored and makes my head tick while my heart pumps blood at high rate.

Hard Voices: How lucrative is coding? Does it put thirty billion for the account?

Sagar: Hehehehe. Let’s be sarcastic for a moment. Do you believe that Davido has 30 billion in his account that’s his personal money? Wait sef, he did not even say if it’s dollar or naira.

Hard Voices: What is Davido?

Sagar: Hehehe. I will pretend for a minute that you are joking.

Hard Voices: Well, if this is your way of not disclosing how lucrative coding is, I must say it is working.

Sagar: Like I said earlier, I needed us to divert a little because I love to play too much. It rejuvenates me

Back to your question. Before I answer you let’s look at a little analysis. This is a list of products and number of years it took each to hit 50 million users…

Hard Voices: I also love to play but not so much when 30 billion is on line. Let’s see the list.

Sagar: Automobile – 62 years; Telephone 50 years; Electricity 46 years;  Television 22 years; ATM 18 years; Internet 7 years; PayPal 5 years; YouTube 4 years; Facebook 3 years; Twitter 2 years.

What does this tell you?

Hard Voices: It tells me that the time frame is getting shorter and shorter. Although I can’t find Snapchat, WhatsApp and Instagram on the list. But really, do you need fifty million users to blow? I don’t think Glo has fifty million active users, and I don’t think Adenuga is broke.

Sagar: Hahaha. I wouldn’t know as well even though I am a strong advocate for Glo ISP. But what I am driving at is the limitless possibility of programming and it’s coast keeping broadening by the day.

Imagine you sit in your room, come up with an idea of an application, build it and just a click away, put it online and people starts using it then your account starts pressing up. You don’t need to have someone in the military or government. Or even have marketing skills. Or wait at the reception. Just have an awesome idea and the skill to develop. That’s all.

Just a matter of time, 30 billion will be child’s play compared to what you will have but like I said it takes time and awesome idea.

Hard Voices: Now, you are really spelling it out in black and white. Good luck bro.

Now to my favourite question when interviewing eligible bachelors. Bia, when you go marry?

Sagar: This really got me cracked up. About marriage for me, it’s an institution I would prefer to gain admission into when the time is right mentally and financially.

Hard Voices: Are you seriously looking for admission? And have you met the admission officer?

Sagar: None of the above. First things first.

Hard Voices: What are the five to ten indigenous tech startups we should look out, that would help rewrite the history of tech industry in Nigeria? 

Sagar: Well, I know of two basically. Tech point and Okutime. I see this two companies doing something entirely new to the industry. Unlike those firms that go into the normal website building, branding, designs etc

Hard Voices: Thank you, Sagar, for sharing a piece of yourself with us. If, one day, I meet you in Bush Bar or Golden Royale pool side, I will buy you one bottle.

You can find Sagar’s start-up here