Domestic Violence: Must Everyone Get Married?

We are living in what I term the Age of Panic, rubbed with a fearful dose of violence. Today, Sylvanus Omoniyi takes on violence at home. This is not his first time here, he has written, for us, about the unending battles in Nigeria. Enjoy


I have written a lot about walking away from any relationship that threatens your life and peace of mind. It is not because I love to see people break up, but because your life is more important than any fucking relationship. The best relationship you can have in this world is the relationship with yourself. I should be busy with something else by now but I must write this post because it is very important.

In the last few years, I have witnessed a lot of untimely deaths caused by people who claim to love themselves. It is funny how your lover can turn around and become your murderer. Everyone seems to be angry. We don’t understand one another anymore. We want to fall in love by all means. We go into relationships unprepared. It is always sweet at the beginning until we start seeing the flaws of the other person. If you can’t live with yourself, how do you want to cope living with another person?

It is not everyone you see in a human body that is truly a human being. Some are animals in human skin. Marriage is not for children, I have always said it. Relationship is not for babies. Married people can come to social media and upload beautiful smiling pictures, but some of them know what they are facing secretly in their private homes. Damn any relationship that makes your life miserable. Damn it. That relationship can go to hell.

Let me shock you a bit. Most of you will live fulfilling happy lives until you get married. That is to say, life will be better for some of you if you don’t get married. But, all of us want to get married because we have been conditioned by the society to do it. It is like you are not a complete human being when you are not married, especially in Africa. So, because we want to tell the society that we are humans, some of us put ourselves in problems by getting married. And we end up digging our own graves. So sad.


I don’t support domestic violence in any way. I don’t support violence at all. I believe in dialogue and communication. I believe in peaceful coexistence. People must learn to sit down and talk about matters that are important to them. If you know you can’t stand marriage, please find someone and tell them you just want to sleep with them. It is better that way. People can be laid without getting married if they know that marriage won’t work out for them. Is it not better than killing ourselves?

The society is killing us because we are too afraid. We allow the society to dictate things to us. Marriage won’t work for some people but they keep forcing themselves into it. I think it is better when you know things that work for you and things that don’t work. You don’t have to copy people and die. It saddens me when people result in violence in relationships. Personally, I can’t allow any woman to cut my dick away in the name of anger. I’m still a virgin and I want to use my something very well and make God happy. I’ll simply walk away from an aggressive woman.

I think people should learn to walk away when they are angry. It is better to walk away than to do something stupid that will lead you or your partner into trouble. Married people, please listen to me. Your life is more important than your marriage. If you can’t stand a cheating partner, please walk out of the marriage. It is honourable that way. I’m not advocating divorce but it is better than killing one another. Temperaments are not the same. But, most importantly, people should embrace dialogue. We are not animals. We should learn to talk about things instead of losing our minds.

We should communicate instead of killing ourselves. No man or woman deserves to die because of marriage. No one. I have read some stupid people saying women killing their husbands is a revolution. What senseless revolution is that? I think people who said that are embittered people. They are probably people who have been hurt in previous relationships. They are speaking from the angle of anger and bitterness. There is no revolution in bloodshed. We can still have a bloodless revolution.

We must not listen to these ignorant people who encourage violence. If you don’t love your husband or wife anymore, or you can’t stand what they are doing to you, please walk out of the relationship gently. Don’t kill your partner. And don’t allow your partner to kill you. If your partner is one that likes to communicate by beating you, please run for your life. You need to save your life before saving your marriage. You can only save your marriage when you are alive. This applies to everyone, whether male or female. Run from anyone who wants to kill you.

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‘We Have The Whole Night’

Das’ penis, Caro noticed from where she lay on the bed, looked like a short banana. She had since undressed and had climbed the bed to watch him struggle off his heavy robes, then fight with the lace of his trousers. Caro had resolved to have an affair with Das after the humiliation she suffered listening as Chuks and others butchered her dignity with Tony whimpering in the background. The end justifies the means, she had assured herself. I will pretend he is Tony; I will pretend I am not four months pregnant. But when she saw this manhood, its shortness and blackness contrasting with Tony’s long drumming instrument, she knew the lie that he was Tony wouldn’t sell, and she feared for her pregnancy.

He climbed the bed with his shoes on.

‘Remove them.’

‘They won’t hurt you.’

‘Remove them.’ The coldness of her voice got him acting. It took him a long four minutes to remove his shoes and socks. He was still on it when Caro cried silently, finished, wiped her tears and planted a grimace which passed for a smile on her face. It was a hungry lion who came up the bed for her. ‘You haven’t said anything about my request.’


‘We have the whole night,’ he couldn’t conceal his exasperation. She parted her legs and he struggled to find her. She had to grab his thing which felt warm like a roast corn in her hand. ‘Forgive me, lord,’ she murmured as she slipped it in. ‘Ahhh,’ pain.

‘What?’ he demanded. His eyes, the eyes of a goat when you hit it with a rod above its capacity on the head. ‘Nothing.’ She further parted her legs till they nearly touched the sides of the bed. He began to pound, pound and pound and Caro began to get wet in spite of her feeling. The more he pounded the wetter she became until she was fully ready; he suddenly released a short gasp, shook like a cut-off tail of a lizard and collapsed on her. He was done.

Two-minutes man.


This is an excerpt from my novel draft