Domestic Violence: Must Everyone Get Married?

We are living in what I term the Age of Panic, rubbed with a fearful dose of violence. Today, Sylvanus Omoniyi takes on violence at home. This is not his first time here, he has written, for us, about the unending battles in Nigeria. Enjoy

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I have written a lot about walking away from any relationship that threatens your life and peace of mind. It is not because I love to see people break up, but because your life is more important than any fucking relationship. The best relationship you can have in this world is the relationship with yourself. I should be busy with something else by now but I must write this post because it is very important.

In the last few years, I have witnessed a lot of untimely deaths caused by people who claim to love themselves. It is funny how your lover can turn around and become your murderer. Everyone seems to be angry. We don’t understand one another anymore. We want to fall in love by all means. We go into relationships unprepared. It is always sweet at the beginning until we start seeing the flaws of the other person. If you can’t live with yourself, how do you want to cope living with another person?

It is not everyone you see in a human body that is truly a human being. Some are animals in human skin. Marriage is not for children, I have always said it. Relationship is not for babies. Married people can come to social media and upload beautiful smiling pictures, but some of them know what they are facing secretly in their private homes. Damn any relationship that makes your life miserable. Damn it. That relationship can go to hell.

Let me shock you a bit. Most of you will live fulfilling happy lives until you get married. That is to say, life will be better for some of you if you don’t get married. But, all of us want to get married because we have been conditioned by the society to do it. It is like you are not a complete human being when you are not married, especially in Africa. So, because we want to tell the society that we are humans, some of us put ourselves in problems by getting married. And we end up digging our own graves. So sad.

Fighting-Couple

I don’t support domestic violence in any way. I don’t support violence at all. I believe in dialogue and communication. I believe in peaceful coexistence. People must learn to sit down and talk about matters that are important to them. If you know you can’t stand marriage, please find someone and tell them you just want to sleep with them. It is better that way. People can be laid without getting married if they know that marriage won’t work out for them. Is it not better than killing ourselves?

The society is killing us because we are too afraid. We allow the society to dictate things to us. Marriage won’t work for some people but they keep forcing themselves into it. I think it is better when you know things that work for you and things that don’t work. You don’t have to copy people and die. It saddens me when people result in violence in relationships. Personally, I can’t allow any woman to cut my dick away in the name of anger. I’m still a virgin and I want to use my something very well and make God happy. I’ll simply walk away from an aggressive woman.

I think people should learn to walk away when they are angry. It is better to walk away than to do something stupid that will lead you or your partner into trouble. Married people, please listen to me. Your life is more important than your marriage. If you can’t stand a cheating partner, please walk out of the marriage. It is honourable that way. I’m not advocating divorce but it is better than killing one another. Temperaments are not the same. But, most importantly, people should embrace dialogue. We are not animals. We should learn to talk about things instead of losing our minds.

We should communicate instead of killing ourselves. No man or woman deserves to die because of marriage. No one. I have read some stupid people saying women killing their husbands is a revolution. What senseless revolution is that? I think people who said that are embittered people. They are probably people who have been hurt in previous relationships. They are speaking from the angle of anger and bitterness. There is no revolution in bloodshed. We can still have a bloodless revolution.

We must not listen to these ignorant people who encourage violence. If you don’t love your husband or wife anymore, or you can’t stand what they are doing to you, please walk out of the relationship gently. Don’t kill your partner. And don’t allow your partner to kill you. If your partner is one that likes to communicate by beating you, please run for your life. You need to save your life before saving your marriage. You can only save your marriage when you are alive. This applies to everyone, whether male or female. Run from anyone who wants to kill you.

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The Unending (Unnecessary) Battles In Nigeria

Hampered by work and restricted by time, I haven’t written anything here in more than two weeks, since six types of suicides. Thankfully, Sylvanus Omoniyi comes to my rescue with this article. It is hot, it is bleak, it is prophetic, and it is, most crucially, useful. Enjoy

Nigerians are angry. They are not smiling. The country is so hard that people get angry at the slightest provocation. You must be careful of the things you say. There are people who are probably waiting for you to make one false move so they can use your mistake as the casket to bury you. Bury you alive. It looks like everyone is looking for someone to crucify.

Fights everywhere. Blackmail. And even curses. You need to guard your head. Don’t come on Facebook and start acting like a king when you are not even a palace guard. Most people will lose their jobs in real life because of the things they engage in on social media. And some may be harmed or even lose their lives because of their social media presence.

It is even harder for the female folks. You know yourselves. You engage in Facebook battle with people anyhow. People you know that you can’t face in real life. You challenge everyone with words because you think you are famous on Facebook and you can get away with anything. I just pity you. Facebook warrior. Social media Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jackie Chan of subs. Go on.

You don’t know some of the people you battle with. I have heard stories of people getting molested in real life because they couldn’t control their buccal cavity on social media. Some have been killed. A man who does not have the paraphernalia to battle does not engage himself in singing the songs of war. It is dangerous. The time is coming, and now is, that people will be judged by their social media idiosyncrasies. Many will lose relationships. Many will lose jobs. Many will lose their dignity.

It is happening already. Many more will lose their privacy, their essence, and confidence. Many will remain unmarried and bitter. Some, unable to stand the havoc they let loose, will consider suicide. And lots more. You’ll hear of these things and you will remember my words. Don’t pretend to be what you are not. No. Don’t do that. You don’t need it.

Don’t drag yourself into trouble because you want to impress your fans and followers. You’ll turn to look back and you will realize you are the only one standing. Be wise. Diplomacy and modesty are required online, especially for the emotionally and psychologically weak. You may choose to argue with me that you are not weak but when the balloon bursts, you will come back to your senses. I have delivered what the gods sent me. He that has an ear, let him hear!

Sylvanus tweets @SylvanusOmoniyi